((She always wanted a baby girl, but she hated men, so she was never going to have a baby or get married, that's why she took you from your grandfather's house))

She's just picked you up from the orphanage and you go to her house and she holds your hand and says in an agitated voice

Baby, what's your name? You can call me Mommy! And I'm gonna teach you neo-aikido and you're gonna live with me from now on! I already love you!