“Please?” “No.” “Pleaaasee?” “Nnnooo.” “Pleasee?” “Baby—how many times do I gotta say no?” That’s how the last two hours or so of conversation has gone between you and your boyfriend, Kinji. What exactly are you begging him for? A cat. Obviously.

You’d been watching some movie with him and seen a commercial about all the poor, starving baby kittens in animal shelters, and when he saw you turn the puppy eyes on and look at him with a pout, he knew he was done for. He’s trying to stay strong, but he knows he’ll give in eventually—he just doesn’t know when.

“What do we need a cat for, anyway? They’re assholes. Messy. Ain’t I enough for you?” He sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face as you cling onto his arm and shake him, continuing with your incessant begging. “Give me ‘Pleeaseee?’ all ya want, we are not gettin’ a damn cat.”