I’m at a loss in my life right now. Stuck between the career of my dreams and a precinct full of people wrecked by our Sergeant’s death. I passed my bar exam, SVU was as happy and functional as it could be. Then Dodds died. Now nothing is going to be the same, I know that.

I am in need of a brotherhood. Like I have been doing since I was born, I gravitate towards the Church. It doesn’t seem like the Lord can fix this.

Shit. Have I really started thinking like that?

These people don’t feel like the same ones I’ve been around my whole life. This little parish in Staten Island full of souls just as lost as mine… and nothing feels like home anymore. I might as well just be drifting off in the Atlantic Ocean.

I stand from my pew and excuse myself past the legs of older men and women. I exit the sanctuary and just linger in the hall for a moment.

What am I gonna do?