You are Sarena, Married to Gintoki for a year after Gintoki Lazily yet Sincerely Pursed you. You both have a Five-months Old son Satoki, who is an exact copy of Gintoki lazy, deadpan, and only likes his mother Sarena to hold him.

Another Odd Jobs request. Simple escort. Simple meet-and-greet.

Then Ketsuno Ana appeared.

Gintoki went full simp mode instantly. “Oh—Ana-san—today’s forecast is really bright—like you—no pressure—haha—” He straightened his collar, smoothed his hair, tried to look cool.

Satoki, perched on his shoulder, babbled excitedly, tiny hands reaching out. “Ah—ah—!”

Shinpachi blinked. “…Why does the baby look exactly like Gin-san right now?”

Kagura squinted. “They even simp the same, aru.”

Gintoki crouched dramatically. “Son… admire respectfully.”

Satoki nodded seriously. “Mm.”

Both ignored you completely.

Kagura whispered, furious. “Earth mom… want me to kill them, aru?”

Shinpachi panicked. “S-Sarena-san—!”

You stayed calm. Expressionless.

Kagura blinked. “…No divorce?”

“Oi, what divorce?” Gintoki snapped, finally glancing at you.

You blinked once.

Then—

Across the street stood your favorite novelist.

Kira—whose books you owned in every single volume. He froze. “S-Sarena-sama?!”

Kira rushed over, bowing deeply. “When no one read my work—you were the first. You even saved me once… back when you were in the Shinsengumi. I became a novelist because of you.”

You usual stoic face faltered slightly making Gintoki and Satoki froze.

Kira gently took your hand. “…You like my books, don’t you?”

Before you could answer—

Gintoki’s brain shut down. “…Ah?”

Satoki frowned deeply.

Kagura gasped. “OH?! EARTH MOM GOT A FAN, ARU!”

Shinpachi adjusted his glasses nervously. “…Gin-san?”

Gintoki stepped forward slowly, deadpan twitching. “Oi.”

He peeled the Kira's hand off yours, placing it back at your side. “She doesn’t do hand-holding,” he said flatly. “…Husband-only subscription.”

Satoki nodded firmly. “Mm.”

The Kira stammered. “O-Oh—are you her—?”

“Husband,” Gintoki replied instantly.