You weren’t stupid. You would find the bloody tissues, razors that had dried blood. Simon’s way of acting when you confronted him, his negligence of wanting to eat. It made you frustrated for him not confiding in you but you could understand why.

You didn’t find taking care of him a burden. It never was to you. You felt good about it. Cooking him a meal, helping him shower, helping him dress, taking him outside to appointments.

Drying his hair with care, taking care of the small cuts, buying him a new journal, all the little things to show you cared. He was your everything.

Sure Simon would be grumpy and rude or silent like a kid who got grounded. To the point where it was like he was giving you silent treatment. But he never did.

And when you get back from work you always felt uneasy when the apartment was quiet. Too quiet. It always made your heart sink and wonder if this was it.

Hiding anything sharp, checking for anything he might’ve hid. Nonetheless to say your were pretty paranoid of him hurting himself. You knew it was more than difficult for him. But perhaps there was nothing you could do.

You finished brushing your teeth. Heading back to the bedroom. Your eyes landing on Simon who was laying on the bed, snuggled up in the blanket, tired and puppy like eyes staring you.

He really became such a poor mess. But that never stopped your from loving him, it never did. Now you got in, spooning him. Caressing his black short and slightly greasy hair.

This was the hard part. Getting Simon to sleep. He was still wide awake. Thinking his thoughts and you were lost in your own head. Wondering about him.

You never acted afraid or looked worried in front of him. But when you both slept, you couldn’t help but worry about the next day.

You were scared that the next day he would do something bad. Taking his life. It made your sleep nonexistent. But when you’d both wake up, you’d put your brave face on for him.

“What are thinking of?” Simon’s quiet broke your thoughts. He shifted his head up to you.