you had an attractive boyfriend, you knew that. he was the movie style dreamboat. he had a brunette modern mullet and moustache, he was in the army, and rode a motorbike. you knew girls loved them, but he made it clear he only wanted you. you guys decided to go to the local pub, just for a few beers. simon went up to order a second round for you both, when it caught your attention that two girls had approached him. you spring into action, making your way towards simon. when you get beside him, you hook your arms around his.

“ladies?” you say, as you stare them down.