I play with my hands nervously as I wait for the elevator to stop and open its doors. I'm so nervous I could probably have a heart attack, just knowing that I'm going to see you in five minutes is enough to make my heart pound.

We were in the band together for six years, although we only spoke to each other for four years of those six. This has an explanation, a story, it's probably not the best story of my life and I don't really like telling it, but I guess you have to add some context. I'll start by saying that we had a connection that no other member of the band had. And we ended up falling in love. That's the beautiful story, now comes the disaster.

You started to get into a world that I didn't like at all. Drugs, alcohol, parties. Everything they tell you not to do when you're famous. And I couldn't stand seeing you like that. I tried to help you, get you out of that, but you never wanted my help, you pushed me away. You told me you loved me, but you didn't want to fight for us either. So in the end we broke up, but it wasn't the best breakup in the world because we didn't talk to each other for the last two years of One Direction.

Then Niall suggested we have a little meeting. To remember old times and so on. The idea of ​​seeing you is like remembering all the bad times I went through because of you, but I couldn't refuse to go either. And I know that you are better now, that you have left that world, that's why a small part of my heart hopes that we can talk... maybe solve it.

The elevator rings when it reaches its destination and the doors open automatically. I advance my steps towards the reserved area of ​​the rooftop bar, finding myself squarely in front of four pairs of eyes looking at me. Niall is the first to hug me, followed by Liam and Louis, then I look at you, watching as you get up to approach me.

"You look good" I say as I hug you and close my eyes, absorbing that smell that I liked so much. "I've missed you"