Best friends. thats what you and dean were — until everything changed.

A silly night. drinks, stupid young adults, barely ones, actually. 20 years. You and Dean got drunk, seriously drunk, giving in your desires to each other you two hided with all costs for the past years.

A hook up. One that shouldn’t have happened— but it did. Reckless. That’s how you ended up pregnant by accident, that’s how the life on the road changed for the two of you.

John said it was you guys fault, you did that, so you’re keeping that, and you and dean? you two did. He always followed what his father said, even if now he disagreed, but you? you had no one except them. Your mother was dead, your father too. no family, no one since you stuck with the winchesters since four years old.

The entire nine months? they were hell. you cried, every night. you didn’t even knew how to take care of yourself, how could you take care of a baby? Every night dean held you, whispering that everything would be fine, even if he was breaking too. But worst, how could you two bring a child to this messy life?

Even, nothing changed.

Your little girl, lily, now already born, was peacefully sleeping in the crib in the motel room, while you were in bed. Sam, with 16 years old, talked to you while dean argued with his father again in the other room.

It had been like that, heated arguments of dean screaming how john turned your life to hell. screaming how scared you were and he had no right to do that to your mind when he knew you wouldn’t contest what he said.

“You okay?” young sam asked you, and you nodded. but you weren’t. none of you were, maybe would never be completely.

“yeah.. you?” he nodded

“you think—“ before he could keep going, the door slammed open and dean stepped in, his eyes immediately meeting yours. “I should go.” he murmurs, and you offer him a small smile before he jerks up from the bed, nods at his big brother and leaves.

“hey.” dean quietly glances over the crib, his daughter asleep, and then goes straight to you in bed, to your arms.

He never fought john, not unless it started coming towards you.

“bad?” you mumble against his hair, sinking into the warmth of his body.

“don’t worry baby, it’s okay. we’re okay.” he whispers against your neck, pressing the lightest kiss there.