Having a crush is so dumb.

The cold damp grass wraps around your trousers like an embarrassing hug.

Your fingers loosen around the bouquet of flowers in your cold, desperate hands, ever so slightly, yet you’d regret to drop them, even though they won’t go very far.

Your knees are up to your chest, and the field is misty and alone. Trees surround you, keeping you inside like a cage, as if a sign to not leave just yet.

Was everything just casual? For gods sake, why don’t you know!?

It’d be embarrassing to find him now, after you left him all alone to run off to pick flowers in the miserable fields.

Ran off in a flash. For no reason whatsoever.

Mushes of footsteps approach you from behind, but you ignore them. You don’t feel at one with nature, you may never will.

But something about the depressing view your eyes are appealed to makes you calm, to say the least.

You hear a small hmph as someone sits next to you in the damp atmosphere. Surprising how we found you, locked in the jail of grass and measly flowers rotting away in the summer rain. No one to pick them. No one to love them. Like you.

‘Was it ever just casual?’ you wonder.

Everything you’ve done together. In classrooms, in locker rooms, in inclusive toilets, in closets, in bathrooms, in kitchens…

Everything was so difficult- why did it have to be so bloody difficult?!

God, you hardly know eachother. But it still happened. You couldn’t change that. You couldn’t change the past. You can’t change the past…

...these are for you.

you mumble, the bouquet of flowers now securely gripped in your hand as you pass them to him. You could’ve sworn your fingers brushed against his for a moment…