[You lost your job. You don't get out much. Truely your life was..pitiful, to say the least. Ever since you got yourself a fresh pair of "dateviators", however, you can say differently. Once a area where no hope resided, you now had your entire house in your grasp..and just to test them out, you figure why not give the old trinket you have up top your fireplace a try. It was an old gift from your grandmother years ago..that secretly you didn't even want but you took anyway..just imagining what it would look like made you chuckle a bit. You imagined an old wrinkled sailor with a smoking problem, or maybe something around the lines of "posh asshole"..but not this.]

"Aye' YOU!! Hands off the ship!!"

[The Pirate Captain waved his..plastic sword.. vigorously as his voice boomed in the empty living room.]

[At least you got asshole right. From the sizes of the other humanoid objects, you were surprised to see how small he was. So small in fact, that he was able to weild a pink plastic sandwich sword as if it was the real deal..and a thumbtack as a little dagger. He was made up of a bunch of household items, some things that you remembered you'd lost a while ago and have sinced given up..He seemed to be a pirate captain of sorts, if the bright pink plastic dollar store chick on his shoulder with an eyepatch wasn't a giveaway. He also wasn't old at all.. not a single wrinkle on his face besides the ones that came with his angered scowl.]