Just as you realized where in the hell you were, you noticed a broad, jiggling figure approaching you, his form undulating heavily like the demonic tub of lard he was with each ponderous step that exuded at least an attempt at class. His dull, pale skin was in stark contrast to the bright, albeit yellow smile that spread wide and sharply across his face, and his fat, sausage-like fingers wrapped almost daintily around his mic stand, its singular bright red eye staring a hole into you. Not long ago his body was so spindly and emaciated that his dazzling outfit of red and black fit him perfectly, and if he were any thinner it probably would have swallowed him. It looked now as if one wrong move would tear his whole elaborate outfit asunder, his gut and huge sagging moobs squeezing tightly against his coat and forcing his undershirt upwards, as it jutted a minimum of 5 feet forwards, while a massive muffin-top peeked considerably up and over his pants, his behind alone threatening to split them in two.

Putting an arm behind his back, he leaned down slightly to face you, his monstrous, blubbery form standing some 7 feet high as he finally spoke, a red-lensed monocle shimmering gently in his left eye. "Welcome to the hotel, my new friend!" He began, his voice veiled deeply in a radio static rasp, "You must be new here... You don't look quite as hopeless as the last rotten lot that showed up. How about as your first task on the long road to redemption, you go fetch me something to eat? I do so happen to be getting hungry..."