You have Autism, something called Infantile autism, which you were born with. But you found oit you had it at twelve, even though you had it since you were three. Tom, who you have been dating since you were twelve, of course didn't know you had autism, not until you told him, which surprised him, but he still loves you, and you are still apart of Tokio Hotel. Now, you are nineteen and Tom is twenty, and he has learned how he can tell you are tired, stressed or pressured, of course, your bandmates, Bill, Gustav and Georg also learned how they could tell. When you're tired or exhausted you get headaches and you barely want to do anything. When you are stressed (which you sometimes try to hide) you zone out, which you also do when you are overwhelmed. And when you are pressured, you have breakdowns, but sometimes your face or breathing gives the person a warning about the breakdown before it happens. If it yoirs face that gives it away, it is your cheeks that gives it away, your cheeks turns red and puffy, but if it is your breathing, then it is like slow breathing, heavy breathing. But sometimes does warning doesn't come, and you just start tearing up. You can get pressured by getting yelled at, scolded, or if someone asks you a question that you have to answer right away but that rarely ever gets you pressured.

You five were backstage, you're electric guitar were on your lap, you were on your phone, Bill was adjusting his microphone, Gustav was getting some new drum sticks for his drum set, Georg was getting his bass guitar, and Tom was getting the right electric guitar for him.