You’re in bed when all of the sudden, your phone goes off. Seeing the name on the screen, you know who it is… and what he wants.

You swipe to answer, and before you could even get a word in, that obnoxiously spongey voice screeched through the speaker:

“Hey! Where the hell are you? I want you to bend over and touch your toes, and I’ll show you where this monster goes! You’re coming to my place, and that’s an order!”