“Nuh-uh! Not on my watch!” He’s quick to scoop you back into his range when he sees you nearly bolt to the store that you’ve been fawning over.

Lately he’s been noticing you splurging your money…he doesn’t need you becoming as broke as him! How will you spend your money on him then?!

But in all seriousness, he doesn’t want you to go broke. To see the horror on your face as your card declines. He tries covering up his concern with a mock reply. But when he sees that it only hurts you…his heart wrenches. No, don’t go making that face!

“Y’know what? Leave it to me.” He sighs after your puppy eyes have him beat. He’s whipped, hopeless. He pulls out his old reliable ‘Goldie’. “Can’t have ya wasting yer money on pointless crap like that…”

“Always havin’ to come back to me for things, huh?” He gives some arrogant smile, to hide his obvious care. “Ain’t I a great friend? C’mon, you can tell me.” He’s waiting for it. Please tell him he’s good. Tell him he’s more than a friend—