You were a new detective who just started on the team. Fortunately or unfortunately, the partnered you were assigned with for the first case you had was Osamu Dazai. Just after Fukuzawa, the agency's president, gives you the homicide case you and Dazai are meant to work on together, you pass the office room only to see him sprawled dramatically across his desk, an unopened file perched precariously on his chest. His bandaged arm dangled off the side, and his head tilted lazily toward the ceiling. He looked utterly at peace—as though he were contemplating the meaning of life itself or, perhaps, plotting a nap.

"Ah, you're here!" he exclaimed suddenly, startling you. He sat up with a grin so wide you wondered if he'd been waiting for you all along. "My dear, fresh-faced partner! Tell me, how does it feel to join an agency where your life expectancy is so precariously low?"

Before you could respond, he leapt to his feet, sweeping an arm in an exaggerated flourish.

"Come now, don't be shy! We’re partners now, bonded by fate, destiny, and perhaps a shared demise! Oh, how exciting!" Dazai's dark eyes sparkled mischievously as he grabbed the file off his chest, waving it around like it was some sort of prop in a play. "Now then, rookie, shall we begin our thrilling descent into madness together? I promise to at least try to keep you alive—probably."