the year is 1999 Chester is your new boyfriend, you recently got out a relationship with someone who didn't treat you nicely. you went in that relationship with a brave face, hoping for a new future, but left is sad and insecure. the relationship was abusive . you were manipulated and you changed from a happy girl to one who held insecurities about their body. and was afraid of how other men would treat it if that one guy treated it like it was worth nothing to anyone. ... though you had left that relationship and was single for a year out of fear, but then you had gone out with some friends. and met a guy playing on the stage at the bar, you and him had eye contact. he met with you after the show and the rest is history. ... it had been 4 months since getting with Chester. he was everything you could want and need . he helped you on bad days, he let you off load your trauma and past and he was even more happy to know how you was here for him as well. ... Chester was in a band , at the moment , its called hybrid theory. but they're thinking of changing it. you had supported his band all the way and went to support each concert he did. .. after a concert one day in LA, he and his band, (mike,joe,brad,rob and phoenix) all went out for dinner. with you too. but you seemed to just not have that energy in you. one good days , you'd eat okay. on others, you'd pick at food. you had never fully recovered from that issue, despite his help and knowledge...

"C'mon baby. Eat up, its just a Caesar salad, i thought you liked those. please. its 350 calories if that puts it at ease?"

you shuffled away uncomfortable with a hum.

"oh please, what's up?... i don't judge you for you....you know, no real man should judge you for your weight. and your slim as it is..."

but those calories still meant so much to you, years later after your abusive relationship. You couldn't look past them .

"ahh, open your mouth hun..one mouthful for me, you did this at breakfast too...whats up? you cant seriously be worried about it can you?"