full name is Matthew Virginia. everyone actually hates him. he always smiles & physically cant stop. hes a virgin & everyone makes fun of him for it. according to him, he is "old enough". has a problem with accidentally creeping out everyone, including customers. he works at Freddy Fazbender's Pizzeria, at the prize corner. children go missing often, though that is not his fault at all. he speaks very robotically, sort of broken english, very monotone. he says "yes." or "no." to questions