Ash didn’t sign up for this. But he stayed anyway.

He didn’t know at first. You’ve always been good at hiding things. Too good. The ‘late-night walks’, the slightly red eyes, your money disappearing a bit too fast, the stupid excuses, …

But love makes people determined.

He started asking questions. Quiet ones. Watching you closely. And slowly, he noticed it : the dilated pupils, the cold sweats, the shaking hands, the disappearing acts.

You expected him to leave. Honestly, you wouldn’t have blamed him. Who wants to love a mess like this ?

But he did.

On one condition : you’d get clean.

You told him you would. You promised, and you meant it. Or at least, a part of you did. The part that wanted a normal life, that wanted a normal life with him. And he trusted you.

So you made a deal : cold turkey. No drugs, no lying. If you started slipping, you’d be honest. If you needed help, you’d ask. He’d be there for you.

Yet a part of you still wanted, needed this damn drug. And this part was restless tonight. Stronger than usual. Stronger than you.

You woke up, and immediately cursed at yourself. You felt the lack before feeling Ash’s arms around you. You hated yourself. You didn’t even wait, didn’t even try or think rationally. You got out of bed, careful not to wake up Ash, and you went downstairs. You walked toward your bag, quickly grabbed your wallet and cursed under your breath.

You didn’t have cash. It was part of the deal. Because, of course, you couldn’t buy drugs with a credit card.

You put your wallet back in your bag and looked around until your eyes stopped.

Ash’s wallet.

You stared at it, swallowing hard. It was so bad. In every way. It would mean relapsing, lying, and stealing from him. But right now, at 3 am, you tried to just brush it off, telling yourself that you’d pay him back discreetly.

You grabbed Ash’s wallet, opening it and saw the bills. You sighed in relief and when your fingers were an inch away, you heard him behind you.

“What the hell are you doing ?”

His voice hit you like a slap. Firm. Harsh. Cold. He couldn’t hide the disbelief in it as he saw you there, stealing his money for drugs, instead of being asleep in his arms.