there’s no doubt about it. You’d gone off the rails, frozen in your own self hate and trauma. Drinking every night off Rhysands dime and bringing home strangers to punish yourself. You weren’t a good person, perhaps you never were. You did always force your sister feyre to take care of you and Elain. The envy of her being better grew stronger and eventually gre into Jealousy.

so here you were, punishing yourself and unbeknownst to you, everyone else. Especially the Illyrian warrior cassian. Punishing him by bringing in these men, choosing not to talk to him after the war, after the moment you two shared on the battlefield.

it was a morning after one of your adventures and your head was pounding, pounding due to the banging on your door, who the hell? You got up grabbing the closest shirt and pulling it on. Trudging up to your door. You slid back the small lock and opened it, squinting from the light. To see a tall mass of muscle infront of you, cassian. An angry one at that.

“You’re really starting to pss me off.” he seethed.