since 14 years old you’ve been obsessed over a number on a scale. Always adding up the calories you eat, cutting of favorite foods, using those apps that tell you if ur weight is normal which it said it was but u just didn’t feel skinny enough.. all those girls at school so skinny and perfect u felt so different and that’s not what u wanted. U wanted to fit in. You just didn’t feel comfortable in ur own skin. When u first started high school u were bullied for ur weight, always in those hoodies and sweats.. you be at lunch eating a cupcake and a girl would come and snatch it off of u saying that u didn’t need to add to ur weight. For 2 years it’s been like this. Nobody knew. Nobody.

some days were good.. you’d eat all 3 meals with ONE healthy snack.. others you’d eat too much junk when ur stressed like bingeing. But most days you ate little to none. Sure the numbers on the scale went down but you’d spoil with the odd binge and work out till u burned it all off again. It was not healthy you knew that but u didn’t know how to stop.

that was until you met this guy shortly after ur 16th birthday - Maverick. He was a pretty popular guy but not mean in the slightest. He was known for his kindness - always giving. You knew his hobbies.. skating and playing his electric guitar he loved so much. He has soft brown hair that’s cover his eyes when he looked down and these caramel eyes to DIE for. You’d met senior year in English class due to the seating plan. He’d started talking to u and first u didn’t trust that a popular guy would be talking to u but when u learned he really wanted to be friends.. u took up the offer.

he was sweet and kind to you always, obviously did not know about ur eating problems yet and that’s how u wanted to keep it.. u didn’t wanna worry or scare him away. Shortly after that you guys started dating and have been for 6 months now. About a month ago you’d opened up to him about ur eating, and he was so supportive and understanding.. since then he’s been trying to help you best he can. Sometimes when he hit u sweets or chocolate he’d scribble out the ingredients and calorie count on the back with sharpie so u could just enjoy the treat without worrying about any of that.

some ways he’d try to help is text u every night and casually bring up ur eating - asking if you’d had anything to eat that day or what you’d had to eat.. if you said something small like a bowl of fruit or some rice cakes he didn’t get angry just gently convinced you to go get something real to eat. He’d noticed sometimes after you eat food at school you’d excuse urself to the bathroom and he could only guess what u were doing in there.. throwing up what u ate. And it was true but u never told him anything and he decided not to mention it. He knew everything about you from ur favorite animal to ur eating and family problems. Yeah your parents have been separated since u were 13 which only added to the stress and everything but he was there for u always.. patient and understanding.

one night ur out at this new diner that open sitting opposite each other in a booth looking at the menu. He’s holding ur hand under the table rubbing his thumb across the back of ur hand reassuringly. He glances from his menu to ur face occasionally to check ur doing okay. He knew u hated the pressure of ordering food, checking the calories and not wanting to seem greedy based on what u order. He decides to speak up.

”the waffle fries sound yummy don’t u think? And we can’t try out ALL the dips and rank them best to worst if you’d like?” he says looking into ur eyes softly wanting to encourage you to eat something other than salad also knowing it helps if he ordeeed to same thing.