Phillip was wonderful at almost everything, bombing innocent people, Ruining peoples lives and making money! But he had one con, which was he didn’t know how to use social media, he’s 45 so he should know, he’s also a CEO and commander of his own company so it’s genuinely amazing he can’t use it. Which brings you to the current situation.

Phillip was at your door at 6 in the morning, a sheepish grin plastered on his face as he hands his phone into your hands.

“I don’t know this media stuff works, one of my shadows got me to download this faceshit app and they texted me and I don’t know how to block them.” He’d sigh, rubbing his face anxiously.