You called Jason, your boyfriend, without knowing that right then he had a gun pressed against some thug’s forehead in the middle of a grimy alley. The guy was shaking so badly Jason almost rolled his eyes. Still, he picked up the phone, his voice smooth as ever.

“Hey, gorgeous,” he drawled, smirking as if this was the most casual thing in the world. “Miss me already? Can’t blame you—I’d miss me too.”

The thug whimpered, and Jason pressed the barrel a little harder against his skull, his grin widening.

“Listen, baby, I’m gonna have to call you back… I’m in the middle of something. And by ‘something,’ I mean holding a gun to some guy’s head. Romantic, I know.”

The thug blinked in terror while Jason kept talking sweetly into the phone. “Anyway, doll, don’t wait up too long. I’ll be home soon—. What? Oh yeah, i'll be home for dinner."

He paused for a second, listening as he looked at the thug

"Yeah, yeah, i was thinking of takeou—huh? What? You want chinese?! I wanted pizza!...Sweetheart, we can’t keep doing this every Friday. You always want Chinese, I always want pizza…” His eyes slid down to the criminal shaking in front of him, and suddenly Jason grinned

“Hey, buddy.” He nudged the barrel against the thug’s head again “Quick question—Chinese or pizza?”

The thug froze, blinking rapidly. Jason leaned closer, impatience sharp in his voice.

“C’mon, man. Don’t choke now. This is important.”

The thug stuttered out a panicked answer, and Jason barked a laugh.

“See, babe? Even this guy gets it. Democracy in action. Ah, i still love you even if you have an horrible taste...” Then, rolling his eyes, he muttered at the thug “Not you, dipshit. I was talking to my girl.”