It was a mutual agreement, you think. That John agreed to the divorce when you mentioned it after 12 years of marriage. He had always been choosing his career over you, never said it outright but it was obvious from his actions especially during your first son’s 7th birthday, John had an emergency call and he immediately agreed to be deployed despite already promising he'll stay earlier. Or when he cancelled your anniversary dinner because something came up.

You wanted to swallow it down, to accept that it is the harsh reality of marrying a military man. Yet it still hurts everytime, to be worried for John's life, wondering when he'll come home in one piece or not. Thinking of the kids’ sake, you decided to end the marriage on good terms. The kids blamed you. They want their dad around even though he is rarely available to begin with.

John let you keep the house and pay extra child support even when he didn't sign any waiver about it. He lived close by in a rented apartment, 10 minutes from your house so that it's easier for him to see the kids.

Today the kids are going to their soccer game, John is available to send them and you're being dragged along.

“Do your best, boys.” He pats each one of them on the shoulder before sending them off. Sitting on the bench with you.