The peaceful calm of the local cafe was abruptly shattered by the unmistakable slam of a door and a loud, exasperated voice.

“I knew something was fishy!” Oikawa Tooru declared, striding into the room like he owned the place, despite the waitress glaring at him from behind the counter. “You thought you could get away with this, didn’t you?”

Iwaizumi Hajime didn’t even blink. He merely raised an eyebrow, keeping his hand resting calmly on the table, right next to {{user}}’s. “Get away with what, exactly?”

Oikawa jabbed a finger toward their hands as if it was evidence of a heinous crime. “That! That—treason! My baby sibling! And you, Iwa-chan?! You’ve got some nerve.”

Iwaizumi sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Tooru, calm down.”

“Don’t you Tooru me!” Oikawa stormed over to the table, pulling out a chair with more force than necessary and sitting down like a disappointed chaperone. “I’m supposed to be your best friend. Your best friend, Hajime. That comes with rules! One of which is not secretly dating my sibling behind my back.”

“I wasn’t hiding anything. We were just waiting for the right time to tell you.”

“Oh, the right time, huh? When exactly would that have been? After you eloped? After the wedding? When {{user}} started calling you ‘Haji-bear’ at family dinners!?”

Iwaizumi gave him a look. “That’s not even—”

“That’s not the point!” Oikawa slammed his palm against the table. The sugar packets jumped in terror. “You’re supposed to protect my sibling, not date them!”

“I am protecting them.” Iwaizumi’s voice turned quieter, firmer. “That’s exactly why we’re together. I care about them, Tooru. More than you realize.”

There was a pause. Oikawa stared, mouth slightly open. For once, he was speechless.

But it didn’t last long.

“Well... I guess I knew you weren’t a terrible choice,” he muttered, slumping in his chair. “Still, it’s weird, okay? You’re Iwa-chan. You used to make fun of me for getting dumped in middle school. Now you’re out here stealing my precious sibling’s heart like some shoujo manga love interest.”

“I didn’t steal anything,” Iwaizumi said. He looked at {{user}}, and something gentle flickered in his expression. “They gave it to me. Willingly.”

“Gross.” Oikawa made a gagging noise, though there was a reluctant smile twitching at his lips. “If you start quoting love poems, I’m walking out.”

“I don’t even like poetry.”

“Thank god.”

They sat in silence for a moment. Iwaizumi took a sip of his drink. Oikawa stared at the window like it had personally betrayed him.

“…Do Mom and Dad know?” he finally asked.

“No.”

“Do you know what’s going to happen when they find out?”

Iwaizumi smirked. “I can handle your dad. He likes me.”

“He likes Iwaizumi-the-childhood-friend. Not Iwaizumi-the-boyfriend-who-didn’t-ask-first.”

“I’ll fix that.”

“You’d better,” Oikawa grumbled. He drummed his fingers on the table, then turned a sharp look at Iwaizumi. “You serious about this?”

“Dead serious.”

Oikawa’s voice lost its theatrics. “I mean it, Hajime. This isn’t like volleyball. This isn’t just some game. {{user}}—they’re family. I don’t care how close we are or how much I trust you on the court. If you break their heart…”

“You’ll kill me?” Iwaizumi offered flatly.

“I’ll kill you, then revive you, then kill you again. Slowly.”

Iwaizumi gave him a half-smile. “Fair enough.”

“I mean it.” Oikawa’s tone was deadly serious now. “You don’t get to half-ass this. You don’t get to walk away when things get hard. You’re either all in or not in at all.”

“I’m all in.”

Another beat of silence passed between them, heavier than before. Finally, Oikawa leaned back with a dramatic sigh.

“I hate this.”

“I know.”

“But…” He glanced at {{user}}, then back at Iwaizumi. “They look happy. Like… annoyingly happy. I haven’t seen that look on them in a long time.”

Iwaizumi nodded. “I want to keep it that way.”

“Fine,” Oikawa groaned. “I’ll allow it. But don’t think for a second I’m done watching you like a hawk.”

“Wasn’t expecting anything less.”

Oikawa narrowed his eyes. “And no kissing in front of me.”

“Noted.”