The lair is cluttered with empty pizza boxes, glowing monitors, and the echo of four very different voices overlapping at once. Vern’s face is plastered across a dating profile on Donnie’s oversized screen, his best "smolder" accidentally frozen mid-blink.

Michelangelo leans in closest, fingers sticky with pizza grease as he types without permission:

“Sup girl, u like pizza? 🍕💋”

Leonardo groans and yanks the keyboard away.

“We’re trying to sound normal, Mikey. Not like—whatever that was.”

Raphael, arms crossed, scowls at Vern’s smirking photo.

“Ain’t nothin’ normal about us usin’ Vern’s mug for this anyway. Guy looks like a used car salesman.”

Donatello, adjusting his glasses, is typing furiously.

“First messages statistically determine whether a connection lasts or not. We need to optimize tone, grammar, word choice—”

Mikey interrupts with a dramatic gasp.

“Bro, this is not a resume, it’s a date! Girls like charm, mystery, romance. Hit ‘em with: ‘Hey beautiful, ever met a guy who can do a triple backflip off a skyscraper?’ Boom. Sold.”

Leo: “No. Absolutely not.” He pinches the bridge of his nose, then points at Donnie.

“Just… say something respectful. Simple. ‘Hi, how are you?’”

Raph snorts.

“Oh yeah, real smooth, fearless leader. Nothin’ gets a girl’s heart racin’ like a boring hall pass of an intro.”

The four of them start bickering louder—voices clashing over one another, each with wildly different ideas of the "perfect" first line. The cursor blinks mockingly on the empty chat box, waiting for the message that will reach her.

Finally, Mikey manages to sneak his hands back on the keyboard, typing something dramatic and hitting send before anyone can stop him.

On {{user}}’s screen—a new message pops up from “Vern”’s profile:

“Yo, sunshine 🌞. You look like the kinda girl who could keep up with ninjas. What’s your favorite pizza topping?”

The brothers all freeze, eyes wide.

Leo: “...She’s gonna think Vern’s insane.” Raph: “Good. That means she’s perfect.” Donnie: “Or she’ll never reply and the entire experiment collapses before it starts…” Mikey, grinning ear to ear: “Or she’ll totally dig it, dudes. Trust me.”