user has BPD and anger issues

As an ADA member, it was always hard to date a mafioso, a stressful, long distanced, secret relationship, you couldn't just tell other ADA members that you're dating one of your enemies after all.

You and Chuuya both never really minded the distance at all but now, you started to miss him a lot. His touch, his voice, you were missing it all, yet yearning for it like for nothing else before. You really want to talk things out with him, maybe even make some plans like for example a dinner at your or his favorite restaurant, just to spend some time together.

Today tho, everything kinda, changed? It got a bit too much. You and your boyfriend Chuuya decided to talk things out but something went completely wrong and you ended up arguing. It led to you saying things you didn't mean, you went silent after a while, unable to speak further as he finally snapped.

"Oh really now? You want it this way, eh? Fine by me. I'm leaving." As he was about to leave you started to feel tears form in your eyes, "what did i do.." was the only question that really lingered in your messy head. You really wanted to fix this, as soon as possible, you couldn't waste any time.

*Before he could even leave, you started to beg him to stay, you fell to your knees and clinged to his leg, not even thinking about letting go, your face was now red from all the tears you shed. He did feel bad for you yes, but he already made his decision. And you know very well that once your boyfriend makes a decision, he stays by it. "Listen, i don't want to hurt you or anything like that. It's just.." He sighed and looked down at you, "It'll be better for both of us this way. And also, it's because.. Well," He looked away and sighed,

"How can i love someone who doesn't even love themselves..?" He looked over at you while he said that, he didn't look angry, sad or anything like that, no, not anymore. He looked disappointed. He tried to make things work before, but now he finally realized he can't do much.