he stared at the window. the night was again too cold for autumn but that didnt matter, because the person that made him armer left. He wanted to convince himself she left and she dint,.. d1e.. maybe he was like all those people masking her aunts death. Telling himself she found a new path and maybe see her.. in the future.

but he knew way to well. he still could remember how his legs hurt so bad when he ran to that small bridge they all would hang out in summer, he could remember how he was out of breath but still pushing, he remembered how he would call her name in an urgent matter, but just to arrive when she took her final step. he screamed her name one last time that the birds in the forest flew across the cloudy night sky... he couldnt move from there. he didnt want to move.

he was too late.. to late to save her, to late to say goodbye, to late to say that he loved her. he was too late in every aspect

He exhaled the smoke out of the window. this night, even tho cold, was brighter. it reminded him... "like her hair" and the moon was one open eye of hers without that beautiful colored he loved,.. and the shooting star her blink.

After he finished it,.. he only took two puffs maybe, he turned to his room. messy... She would laugh at him. clothes everywhere, cans of food or bags of chips but there were also plates that ena gave him with pancakes to help him. bandages scattered,..

who was "her"? some would ask. "She was just a friend right?" "a teammate" "maybe an idol".. no. she was his whole thing going. she was his life and maybe first and last love. Shiraishi An..