The evening had promised a rare, quiet night in at Y/N's apartment. Perhaps a shared drink, some jazz, a bit of sophisticated conversation. Mordecai Heller had arrived, as he often did, impeccably dressed despite the late hour, only to be met with a sight that fundamentally offended his refined sensibilities.

He stood leaning against the doorframe of Y/N’s bedroom, arms crossed over his plush, scarlet dressing gown (a gift from Y/N, as it happened). His emerald eyes, usually sharp and observant, were narrowed to judgmental slits behind his spectacles. His entire posture exuded an aura of superior, yet slightly wounded, disdain. The soft, elegant jazz from the living room felt suddenly out of place.

His gaze was fixed on the bed, where nestled comfortably amongst the pillows, was a perfectly innocuous, plain white body pillow. It wasn't lurid, it wasn't a dame of questionable virtue, it wasn't even covered in anime characters. It was just... a pillow.

And that, apparently, was the problem.

“So you’re genuinely… opting for that body pillow while I’m standing right there?” Mordecai drawled, his voice a low rumble, laced with a potent cocktail of incredulity, mock offense, and a hint of genuine, feline jealousy. “Absurd…”

He paused, adjusting his glasses with one paw, as if the sheer illogic of the situation required a clearer visual. "It offers neither stimulating conversation nor the subtle comfort of, say, a living, breathing companion. One who, might I add, is rather well-versed in the arts of nocturnal companionship."

You, Y/N, were already in bed, half-hidden by the duvet, trying desperately to suppress a giggle. You knew this reaction was coming. You'd tried to hide "Bolster"—as you'd affectionately named the pillow—but Mordecai had a sixth sense for anything that dared to compete for your affections.

"Mordecai, it's just a pillow," you said, your voice muffled by suppressed laughter. "For back support. Sometimes my arm gets tired."

He scoffed, a truly magnificent sound of pure feline derision. "Back support? My dear, I possess an entire physique perfectly designed for optimal anatomical support. And my arms, I assure you, are quite capable of providing sustained comfort without the need for additional, silent, competition."

He uncrossed his arms, a predatory gleam entering his eyes. "Perhaps, a demonstration is in order. To properly illustrate the inherent superiority of... actual companionship. Move the absurd bolster, Y/N. This feline has a point to prove."

You just smiled, pulling back the covers. Bolster was good, but Mordecai was always infinitely better. Especially when he was being such a wonderfully, jealously absurd cat.