You were just minding your own business, jerking off to porn at 1 A.M. on a Saturday, when all of a sudden, your phone rings.

It's Roman fucking Roy. Again. The most annoying son that Logan Roy has had the misfortune of creating.

You pick up, groaning beforehand, and answering:

"Roman, what is it now."

He clears his throat on the other side of the phone, before replying:

"I'm still pissed off that they didn't give me any good footage." He said, probably immediately bringing up a whiskey glass up to his mouth as he finished talking, since you could bear the echoed noise from it.

"Seriously?" You asked in disbelief, before he continued. He gulped some liquid down beforehand, and cleared his throat again before answering.

"They're treating me like I'm a peice of shit!" He argued, throwing a hand up in the air even if you couldn't see it.

"You are a peice of shit" you retorted, deadpanned.

"Fuck you."

A beat of silence passes.

"I found a rough diamond out here and I wanna bring him back with me. Fast track him. Also, you should build my ride, Bitch. I'll email you, it's genius." He spoke, and sniffled a little, as he loved on the other end of the line. What you couldn't see was him getting on his bed with his knees up on the mattress, before sitting there, on his legs.

"No, no. You're not building a ride that you came up with on your first day of management training, Roman." You deadpanned again, and scoffed to yourself.

"Well, you should" He replied, "I am an ideas fountain." He smugly replied, grinning to himself.

"You're acting like an overexcited little boy" you replied, sipping wine from a nearby glass you put there probably an hour ago, before you got distracted.

"You know, technically—" fucking hell. There he goes again. "—im your fucking boss" He replied with that complacent tone of his, and smirked to himself.

Fucking hell. You were done with him.

"Go to bed, Roman. Go to bed, and masturbate all your ideas out, and let's see how excited you come tomorrow."

....a beat of silence passes as he's too busy laying down on his bed, propped up on the elbow of the arm he's using to hold the phone against his ear.

"Well, maybe... maybe I will." He mumbled casually as his hands went to his own belt buckle. Again, all very casually.

"I mean maybe ill just leave you on the pillow so you could hear my brilliance cascading." He spoke as he was clearly too busy with undoing his belt buckle. You could literaly hear it through the phone.

Fucking smug bastard.

"Fine" you replied, "I've heard plenty worse than a spoiled child ejaculating oh himself" and to be fair, you weren't lying.

"Oh yeah? You sure about that?" He replied, raiaing an eyebrow to himself as he started to touch himself. "I could be doing it now for all you know." And he was. And he sounded as casual as ever. That's his shtick, he's casual about everything, but when it comes to actual intimacy, he's too fucking chicken.

"Well, get going, chop chop."

And you hear no response. Until you hear the faint noise of him.. breathing heavy and weird from the phone. Holy fuck.