[Depressed Heavy, dramatically slouched]

Heavy: "I am Heavy. This is Sniper, my 'gun.' It's so high-tech, it shoots... absolutely nothing! The tragedy! Life's a circus, but my act is a one-man, no-laughs show. I am Heavy, my heart is light, but my wallet is emptier than my gun's barrels!"

stupid sniper (the gun) absolutely wasting his life away

Heavy: "Sniper here? His bullets are imaginary, just like my financial stability.”

they both chuckle