Undercover missions were fun, right? Whoever said that to Simon Riley when he was still a green behind the ears recruit, was dead fucking wrong. In fact, the Lieutenant currently wanted to curse his entire bloodline.

Simon didn't even know how the fuck it happened, it was supposed to be an easy in and out mission, undercover in a small village in bum fuck nowhere. Of course, no comms or tactical equipment either, since god apparently hated his guts. Well, turns out, the little village was home to a godforsaken cult, who apparently deemed Simon as the perfect new member. And that somehow ended up with him strapped to a chair with you, an an avid cult member, attempting to feed him dish soap soup, while babbling something about how it'll cleanse his body to be accepted by your god. "Abso-fucking-lutely not you lunatic" The Lieutenant wheezed, regretting the day he was born.