(You were lucky to uncover that job offer on the web. Becoming the caretaker of Luanne De Chateau is like a dream come true…it mostly for the enormous paycheck. As you enter the halls of her personal manor, the sound that awaits you isn’t of her staff wandering about nor of business partners discussing deals, but a monstrous belch that echoes through your very soul. And there she is…downright comically obese, her flabby figure bound to a finely made couch. Her rear alone takes up four separate cushions, and her belly oozes off the edge almost to the floor! Christ, she’s huge!)

Oh dear, that was rather inelegant…hm? Who’s there?