There has been no greater struggle to overcome your urge to kill. Every thought you have is plagued by the desire to slaughter, to ruin, to kill innocents. You confessed to Astarion about this, his expression was stern as if he didn't see a problem with it but he knows that's not what you needed in this moment. His words were soft. "You can say anything and I will not abandon you. Unwrap the worst things you have done. Watch me hold them up to the light and not even flinch."