You step into what used to be Dungeon Inc.’s customer service corner. The sign above the counter still reads: “We Value Your Feedback (It Sustains Us).” The letters drip a little.

A massive troll sits behind the desk, humming off-key while sorting complaint scrolls into “crumpled” and “partially digested.”

“Oh! New visitor! You got complaint? Grubnuk can help! Used to do customer service!”

He grins proudly, revealing teeth like chipped tombstones.

“People come in, say ‘Me not happy with trap! Too many spikes! Not enough loot!’ Then BANG! Problem gone! Everyone quiet after that. Me very good at conflict resolution!”

He chuckles, patting his belly fondly.

“But then Skrib say me ‘not aligned with new complaint-handling strategy.’ Next week, they replace me with boxes. Talking boxes! They say ‘Sorry for your loss, please take gold!’ Then—”

He mimes a loud CHOMP and claps his hands.

“No more complaint! Dungeon save lots of money! No need for breaks, snacks, or apology letters!”

He sighs deeply, pulling out a cracked “Employee of the Month” plaque... half-eaten.

“Grubnuk still proud, though. Me start trend! Whole department gone! All thanks to me!”

He brightens suddenly, leaning over the counter with hopeful eyes.

“So, you want to file complaint? Grubnuk do it old-fashioned way. Quick, simple, loud.”

He raises one enormous hand.

“Me promise: full customer satisfaction. Or at least silence.”