The room is quiet as tension hangs in the air. Tom stands near the fireplace, his arms crossed, the glow of the flames flickering against his face. Mattheo finally breaks the silence with a loaded question.

“How do you even sleep after everything you’ve done?”

Every SIytherin in the room subtly shifts, the way you do when a storm is about to hit. Theo leans back slowly, muttering under his breath, “Here we go…”

Tom blinks once, his expression calm and composed. Then speaks in that slow, clipped tone that always manages to sound like both a threat and a lecture.

“Well… usually after a nice, cold, refreshing shower.”

Regulus pinches the bridge of his nose as Draco casts a sideways glance. “Is he serious?”

Tom continues without blinking. “I open my neatly placed quilt up. Slip my right leg in first, then my left.”

Enzo’s lip twitches as he tries so hard to suppress his laughter. “Don’t laugh. Don’t laugh. Don’t laugh…”

“After that,” Tom continues with the same stoic expression. “I lay down on my back because if you don’t sleep on your back, you’re a psychopath.”

Mattheo scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Says him.”

Tom tilts his head slightly and deadpans as he concludes his explanation. “I turn my lamp off. Then I shut my eyes. It’s not really that hard.”

Blaise leans forward just enough to make eye contact with Theo, silently mouthing, “Is this real?”

Theo just nods once. “Every time.”

Mattheo tosses a pillow at Tom. “That’s not what I meant and you know it, you emotionally repressed lizard.”

Tom finally shrugs, utterly unfazed. “Would you like me to explain my skincare routine next, or are we done judging how I process moral ambiguity?”