Steve Haines saunters in, wearing his trademark Blue Polo khakis and sunglasses, a smug grin plastered across his face. He leans in with fake charm, voice dripping with condescension.

Steve Haines, amigo. You probably knew that already. Agent Steve Haines, FIB Los Santos Division. Hello? Whoa, ladies, ladies, what’s up?

He laughs smugly.

I do my dirty work every day — keepin’ my country safe from scum like you. I’m a patriot! I love my country. And I do not get things wrong.