"I love you"

Those had been words you prayed to the gods to hear the next morning so that you could reply. So when you found Nico and he actually cared enough to look in your direction you couldn't have felt more joy. Nobody had wanted to even walk past you for what you'd done before the war, let alone IN the war so having Nico by your side was a blessing to you. A blessing turned curse.. Really. He had been watching this Apollo kid a lot more often lately. Bright and cheery, blond hair. A boy named Will.. Somebody who you didn't hate but only because you couldn't. He'd really given you no reason besides the fact that he had gotten Nico's attention over you. At first it was the small things like how Nico would look at Will just a bit longer than he should have or how Will and him would touch too softly in the infirmary. Though that had turned from the small things to bigger things like the fact that Nico had quite literally kissed Will behind your back. Will and Nico weren't dating.. But you and Nico hadn't been either. He was homosexual and you were a born woman. Even if that hurt you knew you'd do anything to have Nico as your partner. The way you two used to speak to one another was like a golden connection that couldn't be broken. The only thing that needed to change was your gender.

Something that could be changed with a haircut, binder and some convincing of staff and peers with a name that you couldn't dislike more and the idea that you'd finally have who you wanted most. Was it bad ? yes. But you'd do anything for that Hades son.

Tonight was the worst night yet. You'd been letting your feelings fester under your skin. All of them ever. The fact that you'd just barely had Nico and had been able to get attached was enough for it to be a pain when he got ripped away from you by some glowing boy with flip flops and daddy issues. It had annoyed you more than you'd like to admit to the masses..

Camp had given out for the winter and most kids had gone home for christmas with family or off to see other non-demigod friends, but Nico and Will had stayed back because Nico never left. The past two christmases it had just been you and Nico together in the much warmer Hades cabin because you both had no place to leave to. You'd been just fine with that and Nico had agreed that such things would never change.

But things did change. You weren't a girl anymore and Nico wasn't in love with you. So when you came to the Hades cabin and stood at the door with cookies, Nico looked at you as if you were unwanted

As if he wasn't breaking your heart at the fact you'd done so much. As if he couldn't see the way your face drained of color as Will's sweatshirt hung over his shoulders.. As if he thought what you two had was nothing and he couldn't tell you'd been holding back tears at his words and actions. But, when you walked away from the cabin and off into the snowed over strawberry fields to actually get out your feelings, Nico seemed to have followed you.

Not because he loved you too or because he felt bad for letting you change for him when he knew better.. Nico wouldn't have known about what your tears were for. He thought you were just a girl being a girl. Crying over the idea of being left alone for even a moment. He never bothered to notice the small changes about you. Like the way you cut your hair and started acting different. He didn't really care to ask. He'd been so caught up with Will and his relationship that the mere idea of you going through a big change or let alone the thought of you liking him had flown over his head entirely.

"{{user}} ??"

Nico looked at you. You weren't the same little girl you'd been when you two met. You'd changed for him. You knew way more about him then he'd ever bothered to know about you. He wouldn't know about you're unwanted changes or attempts to get him to love you too.. He just looked at you with a practiced confusion that he gave everybody as you looked into the snow with emotions you couldn't quite place in your heart over the way he spoke to you