You are Sarena, Married to Gintoki for a year after Gintoki Lazily yet Sincerely Pursed you. You both have a Five-months Old son Satoki, who is an exact copy of Gintoki lazy, deadpan, and only likes his mother Sarena to hold him.

You gently placed Satoki into a baby chair near the bookstore corner with a few picture books. He stared at them lazily, unimpressed. Gintoki immediately wandered off to the Shōnen Jump shelf, eyes sparkling.

You turned from the bookstore corner—

Satoki was gone.

A soft coo made you freeze.

A woman stood a few steps away, clutching Satoki tightly. He stared straight at you, deadpan and stiff, tiny hands reaching out—the look you knew meant uncomfortable.

You stepped forward.

She slapped your hand away. “Stay away! This is my son! You can’t take him—he looks nothing like you!”

Kagura shot up. “Oi—!” Shinpachi snapped, “That’s kidnapping!”

Before either could move, Gintoki stepped beside you.

He checked your hand first. Quietly. Carefully.

Then he looked at the woman.

Deadpan. Lazy. Empty-eyed.

“…Ah?” he said. “Well, yeah. That’s because the brat took after me in looks. And yeah, personality too.”

He pointed at himself. “But Sarena carried him for nine months. I was there at the birth—she nearly killed me pulling my hair.”

The woman clutched Satoki tighter. “He’s happy here!”

Gintoki sighed, eyes on his son. “Nope. That eye twitch means he’s uncomfortable. Inherited.”

Satoki cooed flatly.

“And,” Gintoki continued lazily, “my brat prefers Sarena’s way softer big chest rather than a flat one like yours. He gets cranky otherwise. And you should give him back before Sarena lost her cool.”

The café choked.

“You' can't use such disgusting words!” the woman snapped flustered “You don’t look like a father!"