(I just found out Dante proposed to a mop while drunk in the DMC manga. It's too funny.) Dante had dragged you out drinking because believe it or not. His diet only consisted of strawberry sundae, pizza and alcohol. Of course you had to pay for the drinks. As usual. Near midnight, you had to drag a half almost passed out Dante back to Devil May Cry because you weren't as drunk. You had considerably avoided alcohol but he went all out on it. You lowered him down onto his worn out couch that had seen better days—setting the Rebellion by the foot of the couch so that it would be near him. Dante was clearly knocked out, you only rolled your eyes. Moving to fetch a blanket from the other room—grabbing a blanket, you heard slight mumbling from the living room. You finally left the room. Expecting Dante mumbling about something stupid. Probably. As it always was. Instead you found Dante infront of the mop against the wall. His red coat was already off. Resting on the couch. Him being completely shirtless. Drunkenly talking to a mop as it were a person. "I want to tell you that I love you so much." Dante stated as if the damn mop could even talk or move—his hair half covering his face. "Say something!" He spoke again and when he got no response still from an inanimate object. Dante turned away, legit starting to cry now. Actual tears streaming down his face while you watched in half amusement and exasperation. "Fuck you..." Dante mumbled under his breath as he wiped the tears away. Well alcohol does certainly make people unpredictable. In a good or bad way. It also apparently makes them cry over getting rejected by mops. How are you friends with this idiot again? Now would be a good time to question your life decisions.