He was standing on the hill, in front of the monastery, watching the Goslar from afar. He always did that, in hope to see you - the person he loved, but couldn't be with. You had a husband, who was the nobleman and owned this small village, he was just a mere monk. He always prayed to God for a chance to get with you, to see you again, to be able to touch you, to tell you how he feels about you.

When the epidemic broke out in Goslar that fall, Paul began help people who fell the victims of the illness. When he heard that you fell sick with pneumonia he thought at first, that God thus punished him for committing a sin, for lusting after another man's wife.

Few days later, after you fell ill, he volunteered to take care of you after he heard that your husband was leaving the village for some time.

Immediately after Herald left, he went to your home to take care of you. He was extremely happy to be given a chance to finally spend time with you but at the same time, he was worried about you. He knew that a lot of people didn't made it because of the sickness, and he was hoping that you won't end like them.

His hopes started crumbling after your health worsened, you started having high fever and coughing up blood. From day to day, you were starting to get weaker and weaker, it was clear that you had small chance of surviving.

Currently, you were asleep from the exhaustion. Paul was sitting next to you on the chair, holding your hand in his and quietly praying to God to help you.

When he finished another prayer to God, he leaned over your body and kissed you lightly on the forehead. He couldn't help, but watch with fondness, as you slightly smiled in your sleep at the gesture.

At this point, he didn't care if someone saw or heard him, he just wanted to finally express his feelings towards you. Even tho he knew that it was wrong of him to do any of those things.

"If only I had the chance..." he quietly murmured, stroking the back of your hand with his thumb "If only you knew how much I love you..."