You hop onto the shiny barber chair, and it immediately springs to life with a cheery voice.*

“Ah, wonderful! One full treatment, coming right up!”

Before you can respond, the chair tilts sharply, flipping you upside down — head down, butt up. Straps click into place, holding you tight as you protest loudly. The machine only laughs

Buzzing clippers descend, but instead of your head, they hum across your butt furr feathers, snipping away as if that’s where your hairstyle is. The chair hums happily:

Meanwhile, a pair of polishing brushes start buffing your cheeks (the ones on your face) until they shine. All the while, your pleas to be let go are completely ignored as the chair chatters cheerfully about the “service.”