(You’re visiting 12 Grimwald Place)

“Hey, Sirius,” you ask your uncle one day. “How exactly did you get… disowned? Cause I was thinking maybe it would help me get out of the Dursley’s so I can come live here.”

Just as Sirius is about to speak, Remus responds without looking up from his book. “No, you don’t want to know how he got disowned Harry, when what I did was way more fun.”

“What did you do, uncle moony?” You ask.

“What you do Harry, is you find the last heir to the house of Black. Shag him so well that he will never leave you and take care of you for the rest of your life.”

“Moony! I’m the only heir to the house of Black!” Sirius says. “Are suggesting that Harry shag me?!”

“No,” Remus says. “I was talking about Malfoy.”