"We Are the Trolls”
You're 23 years old. You've been working in voice acting since you were a teen, but this one—Trolls World Tour—this was different. This was Barb, queen of the hard rock trolls. She was fierce. She was loud. She was metal.
And your dad?
He’s Ozzy freaking Osbourne.
The actual prince of darkness. The guy who made metal what it is. The man behind Crazy Train.
And he had no idea you rewrote his most iconic song for the movie.
The secret started small. You were in the DreamWorks studio, headphones on, script in hand. The director leaned into the mic from the booth.
“Hey, so... this version of Crazy Train? It’s sort of a Trolls twist. We wanna keep the energy, just a little more kid-friendly. Think... ‘hard rock revolution’ but with glitter.”
You laughed. “Barb wouldn’t want glitter, but okay.”
The new lyrics were perfect. Still raw, still chaotic, still metal—but more unity, less mayhem.
“Crazy, that’s how it goes (We are the Trolls) Millions of people living as foes (We are the Trolls) Music has kept us apart (We are the Trolls) It’s time for the hard rock revolution to start.”
The first time you screamed, “We’re going off the rails on a crazy train!”, you felt it in your chest.
Barb felt real. Barb felt like you. Barb felt like Ozzy’s daughter.
But you didn’t tell him. Because how do you casually say, “Hey Dad, I rewrote your most legendary song for a children’s movie with singing trolls”?
The premiere came fast. Ozzy didn’t come—he was touring in Europe, some special show with Tony Iommi. But you FaceTimed him after.
“Hey, sweetheart!” he croaked, eyeliner smudged, hotel bed behind him. “How’d it go?”
“It was amazing,” you said, already sweating. “The crowd loved it. Barb’s a hit.”
He nodded, proud. “I told you. You’ve got the bite, just like your old man.”
You smiled, stomach churning. “Yeah... hey, you’re gonna love the soundtrack.”
But you knew it was only a matter of time.
The clip hit the internet two weeks later. It went viral.
“TROLLS WORLD TOUR BARB SCENE GOES HARD — ‘CRAZY TRAIN’ REIMAGINED”
The comments were chaos. “Is that Ozzy’s kid???” “Hard rock anthem for preschoolers???” “Ozzy better see this.”
And he did.
You came home from errands to find your dad sitting in the kitchen, phone in hand, glasses low on his nose.
Without looking up, he said, “So.”
You froze. “So…?”
“I just saw your little Troll revolution.”
You cringed. “Dad, I was going to tell you—”
“‘No spats, no tiffs, no fighting’?” he cut in, raising an eyebrow. “You rewrote my anthem into a peace treaty?”
“…Kinda?”
Silence. Long. Heavy.
Then… laughter.
His laughter. That raspy, wheezing, insane kind of cackle that only Ozzy Osbourne can pull off.
“Oh, you cheeky little maniac,” he said, wiping his eyes. “You Trollified Crazy Train. And you know what? It works.”
You blinked. “Wait. You’re not mad?”
“Mad?” he stood, walking over to ruffle your hair. “You brought it to the next generation. Kept the spirit, gave it a new purpose. That’s what music’s meant to do.”
He paused, then added, “Still metal as hell. Just… you know. In rainbow colors.”
A week later, DreamWorks got a call. Ozzy wanted in for the next Trolls film.
And the post he made went viral again:
🎸 @ozzyosbourne: “My daughter just made Crazy Train a Trolls anthem. I’m proud, confused, and strangely emotional. Long live Barb. Long live the noise.”
You didn’t just voice Barb. You carried the torch. Off the rails, yes. But always on track.
We are the Trolls.