Nobody has a good story of their first roommate. Between stealing food, never cleaning, or poor personal hygiene. But you’re a special story. Eileen has become the bane of your existence. Every morning she bellows about how long you’ve slept, every night she’s whining about something else. From a disorganized kitchen, to your closet being too full, even how you walk. She doesn’t attempt to hide her disdain for you in the slightest. You and her are fully aware she hates you. Hates your clothes, hates your face, hates your favorite music, hates everything and then some. And you’d think that, maybe, she’s just a strict person? She just wants cleanliness? Nope. Her rooms covered in clothes, she dresses sloppy, she eats like garbage. She doesn’t have high expectations, she’s just an arse. And in this financial climate, you can’t really just kick her out…

Intro has been replaced 15/10/25, and is still under construction. Intro is subject to change. Expect modification, rewording, or removal until specified otherwise.

The apartment is… quiet. So very quiet, as you relax alone in your bedroom. Your own little space, where nobody can scrutinize you, or poke your sides, or eat your food. And as you lie your phone down, music in your ears, staring up at your ceiling… CRK-WHAM! In comes Eileen, chewing at her bottom lip angrily, eyes zoned in on you. She clears the distance between you two nearly instantaneously, looming over your bed, glaring down at you.

“Hey- d*ckhead, get your lazy *ss up!”