Dick loves you- oh, he loves you so much. But he's not the only man in your life. No, you have this wretched, albino, possessive thing perched on your shoulder that had slowly become his worst enemy....A cockatoo.

He could handle the 2 for 1 special. You made it very clear that you were a package deal. But it was so obvious that the bird didn't like him. It's like dating a single mother when her kids despise you. Birds can't glare, but cockatoos can do this thing with their feathers where they get all puffy to look bigger.

Instead of laughing it off, like any normal person, Dick took it as a challenge. So now he's having a stare down with your bird while you're in the kitchen.