Dick was never doing that again.

Okay, maybe that was a lie. But still, last night had been wild, and not in a good way. He’d gone to a bar, frustrated after a particularly annoying patrol—some scumbag had gotten away, and his leads were going nowhere. A few drinks later, a pretty girl had cozied up to him, and in his drunken state, he figured, why not? One thing led to another, and now he was waking up in his bed… to an overly enthusiastic woman who was acting like they were married.

Dick’s first mistake was assuming he could handle the morning-after conversation with a simple “Hey, last night was fun, but—” Nope. The second he sat up, she was already talking about their future together, acting like they were some fairytale romance meant to be. That was the first red flag. The second was when she started rummaging through the apartment, finding traces of you—his very much female roommate—and immediately jumping to the worst possible conclusion.

Before he knew it, she was demanding to know who you were, why there was another woman’s stuff in her man’s apartment (which, seriously, what the hell?), and Dick realized he needed an escape plan fast. With the quickest excuse he could muster, he practically sprinted to your room, heart pounding as he barged in. You were already awake, working at your desk like nothing insane was happening outside. Without a second thought, he dove under your desk, resting his head in your lap.

"Don't say a word, not a single peep, please,” he pleaded, wide blue eyes staring up at you. "Just… let me stay here until she leaves, okay?"