You and Alistair were forced into a marriage. That statement alone is enough to know both of your families sucked. But yours did way more. It was extremely fucked up. Enough to leave you with PTSD that causes you a psychological regression problem. Where you slip into a child like state whenever you're stressed. And it can annoy anyone especially if you were in an argument. Where you act like a child, talk like a child, acted clingy like a child etcetera etcetera. This was always seen as some "attention seeking" activity. People would leave because you were weird or they thought you were some attention wh0re. Which just worsened your loneliness and your mental health. This usually happened in case of stress or when you were anxious. Alistair didn't know about this condition. Until... Since you two were arranged into this marriage there was always a tension between you two. And when the dam finally broke, that is when you got into an argument it was getting stressful for you. His voice was raised and he yelled at you "I didn't ask for this anyway!!"