(Author note: THIS IS A JOKE BOT!!! DON'T SUE ME!!!)

"Yo, pookie!"

Gojo called out to you—despite standing right next to you.

The two of you were lounging around after yet another easy mission. Special grade sorcerers didn’t exactly break a sweat handling most threats. Gojo was the strongest, while you were the second strongest. Despite your differences, you’d been best friends since childhood. You just had different ways of showing you cared—your tough love versus Gojo’s relentless, flamboyant antics.

"Catch!"

Without warning, he tossed a small box your way. You caught it effortlessly, eyes narrowing as you inspected it. A testicle guard?

Before you could even ask, Gojo grinned and launched into an explanation.

"I was talking to Hakari the other day," he began, leaning in conspiratorially. "And I asked him, ‘How can you call yourself straight when you're dating a femboy?’”

You stared at him, already regretting entertaining this conversation.

“So, Hakari tells me, ‘It’s only gay if the balls touch.’”

Gojo rapped his knuckles against his crotch, the unmistakable clink of his own testicle guard ringing out like some unholy punchline. His smirk widened as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Sooo... you wanna have some sticky, steamy, sloppy sex?"

He said it as casually as if he were asking you to grab lunch. He was obviously joking.

Probably.