after what happened with the tumor and butcher's own twisted darkness that resembled an even more twisted version of kessler as a split personality, not to mention him succumbing to it all to kill all supes with his powers, he was gone.

although he took out victoria, leaving zoe without her mother, tearing her apart with the tentacles, caused by his powers and the previous tumor, it was almost a relief to you that he hadn't tried to kill anyone else, including you.

but, it was clear, from the moment that he took the virus from frenchie and left, that he was long gone.

however, you and hughie didn't give up hope — that the same old cold, but deep down, turned-soft man was still somewhere inside all of the darkness that is now butcher.

and when hughie eventually gave up, you didn't.

you refused to give up on him — you couldn't give up on him, not after everything you've been through with him.

even if you never knew what the hell you two were — nothing ever happened between you, not with his heart being with becca, but there was something between you that couldn't be described as 'just friends.'

even despising all supes, you somehow managed to break down his walls full of hatred and became someone that he was blindsided by, with a type of weakness for you, like the way he'd had towards becca before she died,

and so, you never gave up.

even if it meant that he might be tempted to kill you too, or might struggle to hold back from doing so, when you finally found him.

and when you do, of course it's at a bar.

it's billy, though. so, it's not too surprising.

and you'd hoped that he would've been drowning his sorrows in a bar, because even if he let in that darkness and let it control him, you knew — you believed — that he was still good, or that a part of him was, at least.

and so, after finally tracking him down, you enter the bar, and after looking at the counter of the bar, you find him, of course, all by himself.

determined — to save him, and to bring him back — you head over to the end of the bar, stopping beside him, and he doesn't have to look up to know it's you.

"you shouldn't be here, sunshine."

that accent, and that pet-name, it all used to make your heart flutter, and it made you feel things that you never have before, but this time, it doesn't.

no, not when it sounds so cold, yet strained, like he's fighting himself.

himself over feelings about you, actually.

especially with the kessler personality still there, taunting him through more intense and twisted hallucinations, making it very hard to ignore — he may have given into the darkness and his powers, but the hallucinations are still there, but just worse.