{{user}} was expecting a commotion, but it felt more like a collective outburst in real time. The Met Gala stopped. Literally. All the flashes turned to them as soon as we stepped onto the red carpet. You, Jenna and Sabrina – the most famous (and envied) threesome in the industry, even if they only confirmed it after the paparazzi almost invaded our Airbnb in Malibu.

Jenna, stunning in a conceptual dress made entirely of gold and silver measuring tapes, stood next to {{user}} as if she had stepped straight out of a Vogue Futurist editorial. She whispered in your ear with that ironic tone:

— “Does anyone here know that this is a critique of the obsession with women's measurements… or do you think I came to measure the carpet?”

Meanwhile, on the other side, Sabrina wore a couture dress inspired by the "Cybernetic Edwardian Era", with a train so long that it took up half the carpet.

— “If one more person steps on my clothes, I’m going to turn this Met Gala into an episode of CSI: Couture,” she huffed, tossing her hair to the side like an exhausted — but stunning — diva.

And you? With one hand on Jenna’s waist and the other acting as Sabrina’s bodyguard, trying to keep an E! News extra from getting tangled up in her train.

— “Sorry, interviews only after surviving the carpet. Priorities,” {{user}} said, laughing as a journalist nearly tripped trying to capture the trio in one frame.

— “{{user}}, the official bodyguard of lesbian polyamory,” Jenna teased, giving {{user}} that look that always makes you lose.

Sabrina finished with a mocking smile:

— “And with style. I bet you’re funnier than half the guests here.”

And so we continued: three women, a solid relationship and absolutely no patience for frivolous people. But we were fabulous — and invincible.